You Sell Cologne

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You Rollerblading Faggot

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You Robbed A Sperm Bank Because You're A Cum

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You couldn't pick up a guy at the gay barmail prostitutes wouldn't take your money you jerked off 8 times, and ran out of your ownso you broke into a sperm bank, you cum guzzling fagyou're fucking gay, you're fucking gayi only wrote this song to piss peop.. Read »

You Play On A Softball Team

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You Own A Store

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You Look Divorced

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you look divorced [x2]you've got that mopy look on your face,you're 3 months behind on your alimony payments you're pissed off,you're ex married someone new,and you're also pissed of because he's a fucking jew [chorus:]you look divorced [x4]you sit in a b.. Read »

You Look Adopted

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your real mother was a hooker,your real father couldn't get laidyour mother left you in a dumpster,you were adopted by two gays[chorus:]you look adopted [x4]you hate father and son picnics, you hate the p.t.a.you won't bring friends to your house,you've g.. Read »

You Live In A Houseboat

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You Keep A Diary

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You Have Goals

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you want to go to schoolyou want a good jobyou want to get marriedyou want to own a car[chorus:]you're boring,you're gay,you're old,you have goals [x2]you want to own a houseyou want to have kidsif these are your goalsthen you're fucking stupid[chorus].. Read »