It Feels Like I've Been Alone Too Long,

With No Girls Around

My Mamma's Wondering.

Thinking Of Some Way,

To Release It.



I Looked In The Kitchen,

Saw Some Crisco Oil,

And That's When My Bladder Started To Boil,

Ooooooh Yeah.



Ow, Ow, Ow!

(Uh Oh!)

Ow, Ow, Ow!

(Oh God! What Did I Just Do?)



No One Wanted To Be With Me,

Had To Make My Dream Come True,

I Wanted To Hump Something,

I Didn't Know What To Do.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea,

And No One Else Was Around,

I Stuck My Weenie In A Bottle,

And Now I Can't Get It Out!



Stuck My Weenie In A Bottle Today,

Gonna Shove It Up There All The Way.

I Stuck My Weenie In A Bottle,

Oh No,

Can, Can, Someone Come Help Me Out?



It's Turning Purple,

All The Feelings Gone,

Now Where Did I Put That Friggin' Phone?

Dialing 9-1-1!



Please Pick Up!

I'm In A Lot Of Pain!

This Was Supposed To Feel Good,

Now I'm Suffering,

Oh, Please Answer!



[Emergeny Services]

Denver 911, What Is Your Emergency?



Ow, Ow, Ow!



[Emergency Services]

Hello?



Ow, Ow, Ow!



[Emergency Services]

Sir, What Seems To Be The Problem?



No One Wanted To Be With Me,

Had To Make My Dream Come True,

I Wanted To Hump Something,

I Didn't Know What To Do.



[Emergency Services]

Go On!



It Seemed Like A Good Idea,

And No One Else Was Around,

I Stuck My Weenie In A Bottle,

And Now I Can't Get It Out!



[Emergency Services]

You Stuck Your Weenie In A Bottle,

Oh My!

You Must Feel Really Lonley, Guy.

You Stuck Your Weenie In A Bottle,

That's A First!

Don't Worry Sir,

We're Sending Somebody Out!

Hey Pam, This Guy's Got His Weenie Stuck In A Bottle!



[Pam]

No Way!



[Emergency Services]

He Does!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Wait, Wait...

Sir, We're Sen