Hot Step Moms And Surrogate Dads - It Breaks My Heart To See Him So Sad - Lying Alone In His Room With A Frown On - Reruns Show Him What He's Missing Out On - If Life Could Be, Like He Sees It On TV - He Wouldn't Have To Hurt So Bad - Hurts So Bad `cause - It's Too Much Drama, Too Much Drama Dad And Mama - Traded Back And Forth Til He Turns 18 - It's Too Much Drama, The Kid Don't Need No New Step Grandma - So He Joins A Family On The Screen - Can't You See? Too Many Parents Leave - Too Many Sets Of Parents Leave A Kid Who Can't Believe - How They Can Think That He Can Take It - It's All He Can Do To Fake It - Off For A Weekend With Real Dad But - The Only Thing Real Is How Real Bad He - Just Wants His Life To Be Black And White - Those People Never Fight - If He Could Xerox A Home From The Talking Picture Box - He Wouldn't Have To Hurt So Bad - So He Turns To TV For Help And For Guidance - A Lot Of His Virtues He Picked Up From Linus - Fonzie Taught Him What It Means To Be Cool - From Doogie He Learned That He Must Go To School - Three's Company Taught Him That Just Acting Gay - Could Lower The Actual Rent He Would Pay - Cops Showed Beating Your Wife And Your Neighbor - Could Immortalize You And Your Double Wide Trailer