All My Days
I Live With My Disgrace
I'm Afraid To Show My Face
Or At Least Take Off My Underwear

See I Was Born
Like A Half Way Neutered Pet
I Don't Have A Matching Set
It's A Part Of Me
That Just Aint There
Please, Don't Stare

Well I'm A Gambling Man With Out Two Dice
I'm Like Uncle Ben With Only One Grain Of Rice
Oh To Have Two Testis Would Be So Nice
But I'm Half A Man
Yeah, I'm Half A Man

Wanna Die
End It All, Just Call It Quits
I Can't Find A Cup That Fits
And At Baseball Games I Feel So Dumb
When I Hear “ball One”

Oh, My God
How Could You Have Been So Cruel
To Give Me One Family Jewel
And The One That's There Must Feel So Sad
He's A Lonely Man

Well I'm A Marathon Runner With Just One Leg
I'm A Fallopian Tube With Just One Egg
Oh, I Want Another Testi
Do I Have To Beg?
I'm Half A Man

Well I'm A Tweedle Dee With No Tweedle Dum
And I'm A Siskel And An Ebert With Just One Thumb
And I'm A Yo Ho Ho With No Bottle Of Rum
I'm Just Half A Man
Yeah, I'm Half A Man