Here We Are Dear Old Friend
You And I Drunk Again
Laughs Have Been Had And Tears Have Been Shed
Maybe The Whisky's Gone To My Head

But If I Were Gay I Would Give You My Heart
And If I Were Gay You'd Be My Work Of Art
And If I Were Gay We Would Swim In Romance
But I'm Not Gay So Get Your Hands Out Of My Pants

It's Not That I Don't Care (I Do)
I Just Don't See Myself In You
Another Time, Another Scene,
I'd Be Right Behind You, If You Know What I Mean

'Cause If I Were Gay I Would Give You My Soul
And If I Were Gay I Would Give You My Whole Being
And If I Were Gay We Would Tear The Walls
But Im Not Gay So Please Stop Cuppin' My …hand

We've Never Hugged, We've Never Kissed
I've Never Been Intimate With Your Fist
You Have Opened Brand New Doors
Get Over Hear And
Drop
Your
Drawers!