My Mom Said "I Believe In God."
So I Told Her I Was An Athiest
The Next Day, I Went To Church Just To
Piss Off Some Satanist

I Only Hang At The Coffee Shop (x2)
Please Pay Attention To Me

Chorus
I Want To Believe In What You Don't
It Gives Me Something To Do
I Am All About Proving Myself
I Have Nothing To Do

I Am A Democrat Except To My Dad
I Hate Dogs But Only When There's Cats
I Will Never Be Able To Make Up My Mind
A Solid Opinion Is A Tough Thing To Find

I Can Recite Facts From Various Books (x2)
Please Pay Attention To Me

I Want To Believe In What You Don't
I Wanted Something To Prove
I Wanted To Feel Somehow Better Than You
I Have Nothing To Do

Chorus