Pass the pen there Billy Bob, I'll write us up a song. Or perhaps I'll pen a sonnet, if the melody sits all wrong. Hand me down a crayon, and I'll draw a mighty oak. 'Cause of all my brother Masons, I'm the quickest with a jo.. Read »

You can have a lolly pop a candy bar a jelly bean. I'll buy you a rainbow to hang above your door. It's pudding time. Laughter is a sweet You can't put a price on. When laughter's all gone Daddy won't buy you more. It's pud.. Read »

Came up on a worried man, asked him if he had a light. He reached on down, dug in his shoe, figured in his sock he might. He asked if he could come and join, at what we was partakin' in. I says,"Ol' soul if you got a match, y.. Read »

We are gathered here Today in these majestic halls of old to honor a man they call Sathington Willoughby. There's a joke or two, A pun or three I feel that must be told then I go on to speak of Sathington Willoughby. Sathingt.. Read »

Snipping, snipping, snipping goes the scissor man Putting end to evil doers games Snipping, snipping, snipping goes the scissor man Maybe you are in his book of names Maybe you are in his book of names So be kind and helpful.. Read »

When the going gets tough And the stomachg acids flow The cold wind of conformity Is nipping at your nose When some trendy new atrocity Has brought you to your knees Come with us we'll sail the Seas of Cheese.. Read »

Sgt. Baker is my name I'm gonna teach you how to play the game of warfare Suddenly it appears to me You got a bit much dignity For your own good, boy Yes sir, yes sir. I will rape your personality Pummel you with my own phil.. Read »

There's a time for lies and a time for truth. I say, eye for an eye, eye for a tooth. When I roamed young, I'd scavenge around. Every nook and cranny of our little town. It's nice, so nice, to be. Pull out the cannon boys, .. Read »

Goin' down to southpark Gonna have myself a time(frendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation) Goin' down to southpark gonna leave my woes behind(amble parking day or night people spouting "Howdy neighbor") Hea.. Read »

[Originally by The Residents and Snakefinger] Your life is leaning downhill Sloping off the outer edge Your undetermined oyster beds Were found to be a hedge You cause the kids of Elmer Fudd To feed the farmer whose Cadaver'.. Read »