It Was A Weekend And You Can′t Stop
Us From Going To The Local Dance Spot
Instead Of Drinking Imported BeersSomebody Brought A Bottle Of Orphan Tears
We Popped The Top, We Know What Was In It
Yeah, We Were All So Stupid To Sip It
Orphan Tears Are So Hallucinogenic
I Took One Drink And Saw A Two-headed Midget (hey!)

Then The Room Filled With Colors And Shapes
And Suddenly DeeJay Was Covered In Snakes
Oh Snap, And What Made It Worse
Was I Swear I Saw A Unicorn Humping A Smurf

Then A Rainbow Appeared Out Of Wax's Ass
He Passed Some Gas And It Snapped In Half
Yo, Deejay! Are You Still There?
(Yeah, I′m Trying To Up With This Girl In A Wheelchair)
Alright Chill There, I Think I'm Bulimic Care Bear Might Pick A Fight With Jesus
I Don't Believe It, I′m Gonna Be Sea Sick
These Orphan Tears Are About To Make Me Trip

Little Children, Near And Far
Don′t Know Where Your Parents Are?
Cry Directly In This Jar
I Will Drink It At The Bar
(Sip Sippin' On Orphan Tears)
(Sip Sip Sippin′ On Orphan Tears)
(Sip Sippin' On, Sip Sip Sippin′ On)
(Sippin' Sippin′, Sippin' On Orphan Tears)

(Uh, Huh!)

These Orphan Tears Got Me Feeling Like I Ain't Felt Before
I Tried To Bust A Move But Fell Asleep On The Dance Floor
(Hey Dude, Get Up!)
I Swear I Saw Bill Cosby Like, "Hello, With The Pudding!"
He Was Dancing In His Underwear Showing Off His Woody

I Ran To The Bathroom, Everything′s In Slo-mo
I Couldn′t Throw Up 'cause The Toilet Bowl Called Me A Homo (homo!)
I Barfed Up A Kitten And I′m Feeling Strange
Sippin' These Orphan Tears, Now It′s Got Me Seeing Things

Little Children, Near And Far
Don't Know Where Your Parents Are?
Cry Directly In This Jar
I Will Drink It At The Bar
(Sip Sippin′ On Orphan Tears)
(Sip Sip Sippin' On Orphan Tears)
(Sip Sippin' On, Sip Sip Sippin′ On)
(Sippin′ Sippin', Sippin′ On Orphan Tears)

All Up In The VIP Section, Straight Relaxed
DJ Playing My Favorite Tracks
Waitress Asked, "What Can I Bring You?"
I Said, "The Most Expensive Thing On The Menu"
She Came Back With A Glass Of Liquid
I Said, "I Asked For Something Different
This Looks Like A Normal Beer"
She Said, "Nah, It's Orphan Tears"

Took A Swig Then I Walked Down Where The Dance Floor Is
Whole Club Looking Like A Forest
DeeJay Turned Into A Brontosaurus
Everybody In The Club Looked Like Chuck Norris

I Tried To Run To The Bathroom
But When I Did, I Felt A Vacuum Suction
Pulling Me Back Slow
Dance Floor Turned Into A Black Hole
Spinning Around Horribly
Feeling Like Dorothy
Woke Up And Was Still At Home
Orphan Tears Got Us In The Zone

Little Children, Near And Far
Don′t Know Where Your Parents Are?
Cry Directly In This Jar
I Will Drink It At The Bar
(Sip Sippin' On Orphan Tears)
(Sip Sip Sippin′ On Orphan Tears)
(Sip Sippin' On, Sip Sip Sippin' On)
(Sippin′ Sippin′, Sippin' On Orphan Tears)

Little Children, Near And Far
Don′t Know Where Your Parents Are?
Cry Directly In This Jar
I Will Drink It At The Bar
(Sip Sippin' On Orphan Tears)
(Sip Sip Sippin′ On Orphan Tears)
(Sip Sippin' On, Sip Sip Sippin′ On)
(Sippin' Sippin', Sippin′ On Orphan Tears)

Hello, With The Pudding!
Pud-pud-pud-pud-pudding!
He-he-hello With Pudding, Pudding (Bill Cosby)
Pudding! (Bill Cosby)
Pudding! (Bill Cosby)
Pudding! (Bill Cosby)
Pudding (Bill Cosby)