What Would Brian Boitano Do
If He Was Here Right Now,
He'd Make A Plan
And Follow Through,
That's What Brian Boitano'd Do

When Brian Boitano Was In The Olympics
Skating For The Gold,
He Did Two Sow Cows And A Triple Lutz,
While Wearing A Blind Fold

When Brian Boitano Was In The Alps
Fighting Grizzly Bears,
He Used His Magical Fire Breath,
And Saved The Maidens Fair

So What Brian Boitano Do
If He Were Here Today,
I'm Sure He Kick An Ass Or Two
That's What Brian Boitano'd Do

I Want This V-chip Out Of Me,
It Has Stunned My Vo-ca-bu-lar-y

And I Jus Want My Mom
To Stop Fighting Everyone

For Wendy I'll Be An Activist, Too
Cos That's What Brian Boitano Would Do

And What Would Brian Boitano Do
He'd Call All The Kids In Town,
And Tell Them To Unite For True
That's What Brian Boitano Would Do

Someone Say My Name?
Who Are You?
I'm Brian Denehy
What?? No Not Fuckin Brian Denehy!
Dude Get The Fuck Outta Here
Oh, Bye

When Brian Boitano Travelled Through Time,
To The Year 3010,
He Fought The Evil Robot Kings
And Saved The Human Race Again

And When Brian Boitano Built The Pyramids
He Beat Up Kubela Kong

Cos Brian Boitano Doesn't Take Shit From An-e-y-body

So Lets All Get Together And Unit To Stop Our Moms
And We'll Save Terrance And Phillip Too,
Cos That's What Brian Boitano Do

And We'll Save Terrance And Phillip Too,
Cos Thats What Brian Boitano Doooo,
That's What Brian Boitano Do.