-All:

Can I Tell You A Romantic Story?

About The One-eyed Lady In France

I Guess The King Decreed, That All The Various Princes

Should Try To Get Inside Her Pants

-Matt:

So Along Came A St. Paul Dandy

He Was Six And A Half Feet Tall

He Said "All The Little Ladies Love Roses"

She Took The Roses And That Was All

The Next Man For The One-eyed Lady

Was My Dignified Brother Dan

He Said "Bring The Little Woman Some Kisses And Attention"

She Wouldn't Even Shake His Hand

Then I Moved Into The Picture

I Was Wearing These Magic Pants

I Said "Let The Blind Bottom Of My Body Do The Talking"

She Fell Into A Magic Trance

I Wore The Pants

I Said Relax

We Did A Dance

They Call The Slacks

-John:

Now Let Me Tell You The Truth Of The Story

It Was Me Moving In Those Pants

Matt Said The Way To Her Heart Is Through Her Tummy

And Then He Took Her Out To Restaurant

-Dan:

Could You Both Turn Down The Distortion?

Cause You Know I Wore The Pants

You Were Both Laid Out On The Floor With No Protection

In A Deep, Dark, Watery Trance

I Wore The Pants

I Said Relax

We Did A Dance

They Call The Slacks