I Gave Up A Min Of Cheese
To Domino's Delivery
Whiskey Sours
Apple Pies
Finger Lickin' Chicken Fried
Are Gastronomic History
I Used To Like Them Scary Shows
But I Gave 'em Up A While Ago
Don't Do No Dip Defyin'
Rollercoster Ridin'
Now Days I Just Take It Slow
Every Since We Started Datin'
I Been Compensantin'
To Keep From Gettin' Up
To Hell Any Quicker
'Cause
CHORUS:

She's Hard On The Ticker
Hard On The Ticker
The Girl Is Such A Hazard That She Oughta Have A Sticker
Sayin' Hard On The Ticker


Now, When She Wiggles Through My Door
My Chin Gets Heavy
Hits The Floor
Silky Hair
Garnet Lips
Swingin' Double-jointed Lips
My Blood Begins To Roar
And When She Nibbles On Me Ear
It's Partly Pleasure, Partly Dear
Little Dab Is All It Takes
To Get My Heart A Palpatatin'
Fellin' Like The End Is Near
I Oughta Get A Policy
A Double Indemity
It'd Make My Beneficiary
A Whole Lot Richer
'Cause

(Repeat Chorus)

That's My Girl
Yeah, She's Hard On The Ticker
I Oughta Get A Policy
A Double Indemity
It'd Make My Benificiary
A Whole Lot Richer----

(Repeat Chorus)

Oh, She's Hard On The Ticker
She's Hard On The Ticker
Hey, She's Hard On The Ticker