Well, I Went To See My Doctor,
I Said, "Doc, I Can't Pay My Bills!
The Rent's All Spent,
The Truck's Got A Dent,
And I Think I'm Gettin' The Chills
From Being Forced To Sleep Alone,
You See This House Just Ain't No Home,
I Can't Afford No Kids,
My Life Is On The Skids,
'Cause My Woman Says
"Leave Me Alone,
Unless You Get A Vasectomy!
You Ought To Get A Vasectomy!
Just One Little Male Alteration
Can Keep Us From Another Altercation!
Get A Vasectomy!
You Ought To Get A Vasectomy!
Oh What A Vas Deferens There Could Be!"

Well, The Next Thing I Know,
I'm Laying On A Table
With A Light Shinin' In My Eyes!
They Strapped My Wrists,
They Strapped My Ankles,
And They Double-strapped My Thighs!

The Nurses Were A Gigglin'
And I Was A Wigglin',
Most Uncomfortably,
When The Doc Walked In,
With A Perverted Grin,
And Here's What He Said To Me:

"It Only Hurts
For A Little While,
That's What They Tell Me,
That's What They Say!"

Oooeeeiy! Ooooh! Aiiiy Oh!

Well, It's Two Weeks Later,
And I Feel A Little Better,
My Mind Is More At Ease.
The Rent's Still Spent,
The Truck's Got A Dent,
But My Woman's No Longer A Tease!

And Even Down At The Office,
There Is A Lot More Interest In Me,
The Girls All Grin When I Walk In!
And Brother, They Mean To Please
A Man With A Vasectomy,
You Ought To Get A Vasectomy!
Like A Sun-kissed Orange,
I've Been Squeezed,
'Cause Its All Juice And There's No Seed!

Well, A Vasedctomy!
You Ought To Get A Vasectomy!
Oh What A Vas Deferens!
It's Beginnin' To Make A Little Sense!
Oh What A Vas Deferens There Could...'

Here Is The Part That I Like The Most,
It Takes The Danger Out Of Bein' Close!

Oh What A Vas Deferens There Could..

They Snip Those Little Suckers Right In Two
And Clamp 'em Of With Super-glue!

Oh What A Vas Deferens There Could Be!