Officer Good Evenin', Allow Me To Explain, The Spectacle You See Beside This Road.
Well It's Been A Long, Hard Day,
And I Have Been The Victim Of Circumstances Beyond My Control.
Let Me Just Assure You That I'm Not A Drinkin' Man.
I Work Hard To Uphold The Law.
And Those People In That Other Car, They're Friends Of My Ex-wife,
No Matter What They Told You They Saw.

The Car Was Upside Down When I Got Here.
I Left It Right Side Up Some Time Ago.
Some Kids Drove By And Poured Somethin' All Down My Shirt,
Well It Might Have Been Tequila, I Don't Know.
I Just Stepped Into The Woods For A Midnight Prayer,
I Don't Know What Went Down While I Was Not Here.
That Stop Sign Was On The Hood When I Bought The Car,
And The Car Was Upside Down When I Got Here.

Officer My Reputation Speaks For Itself,
Well I'm As Innocent And Gentle As A Child.
That Fist Fight With My Mama, That Was Three Months Ago,
I Can't Believe That's Still On My File.
Now A Conscientious Peace Keeper Such As Yourself,
Must Surely Recognize An Honest Guy.
And Since Most Of My Money Goes To Charitable Causes,
I Can't Afford A DWI.

Yea The Car Was Upside Down When I Got Here.
I Left It Right Side Up Some Time Ago.
Some Kids Drove By And Poured Somethin' All Down My Shirt,
Well It Might Have Been Tequila, I Don't Know.
I Stepped Into The Woods For A Midnight Prayer,
Yea I Don't Know What Went Down While I Was Not Here.
That Stop Sign Was On The Hood When I Bought The Car,
And The Car Was Upside Down When I Got Here.

No Sir, I Don't Remember Exactly How I Broke My Ribs,
But The Car Was Upside Down When I Got Here.