"And Now A Buffoon's Meeting With The Dean Of Admissions At A Prestigious College."

Dean: "Well Michael, I Would Like To Extend My Warmest Congradulations On Your Upcoming Graduation And I Understand You Are Interested In Matriculating Here In The Fall."

Buffoon: "I Got A Snake, Man!"

Dean: "Yes, Pets Are Welcome Here On Campus. Be It The Traditional Dog, Or Cat, Or Even The Occasional Reptile."

Buffoon: "One Time I Fed It Some Beer Man! It Was Slithering This Way And That! It Was All Fucked Up!"

Dean: "I'm Sure It Was. Well We Discourage Inappropriate Drinking Among Both Students And Pets Here On Campus."

Buffoon: "Fuckin' Shit!"

Dean: "Yes, That's A Not Uncommon Reaction To This Policy. So Tell Me A Little Bit More About Your Background."

Buffoon: "My Father's A Fucking Asshole, Man!"

Dean: "Hmm, I See. Your Feelings Of Rebelion Are Not Unusual At Your Age Son."

Buffoon: "My Mother's A Piece Of Shit Too!"

Dean: "Well, I Hope You Can Find An Outlet For Your Hostility Over The Summer So You Can Come To School In The Fall Relaxed And Ready To Learn."

Buffoon: "My Teacher In High School Was A Stupid Bitch, Man! She Had Her Head Way Up Her Ass!"

Dean: "Well The Quality Of The Faculty At A University Such As Ours Far Exceeds That Of A Local Public High School."

Buffoon: "Your Secretary's A Real Fat Bitch, Man!"

Dean: "Yes, She's Tried Many Diets Over The Years With Minimal Success."

Buffoon: "I Had Diarhea Last Month. I Had To Shit All Fucking Day!"

Dean: "Uh Huh, Well We All Get The Occasional Stomach Bug, Never A Pleasurable Experience. So Have You Given Any Thought To Your Choice Of Major?"

Buffoon: "I've Got A Big Fucking Boner Right Now."

Dean: "I See. Well Sexual Arrousal Is Not Uncommon During Periods Of Nervous Tension. I Do Not Take Offense."

Buffoon: "One Time I Ate My Neighbors Shit!"

Dean: "That's Understandable. Well, I Enjoyed Meeting You. We'll Be Sending You Our Decision By The End Of The Month."

Buffoon: "I Bet You Got Really Hairy Balls."

Dean: "Yes, It's A Veritable Forest Down There. Bye Bye.",