Bert: "Hey Ernie! Hey Ern.."

Ernie: "Hey There, Bert."

Bert: "Hi. Listen The Radio Is Playing Soft And Then Loud. Something Wrong?"

Ernie: "That's The Volume Control, Bert. See This Little Button Here? That's The Volume Control."

Bert: "Yeah, You're The One That's Doin That, Huh?"

Ernie: "And When I Turn The Knob This Way, It Makes The Radio Play Louder."

Bert: "Yeah, I Know. See, I'm Tryin To Read Over There..."

Ernie: "And Then Bert, When I Turn The Knob This Way, It Makes The Radio Play Softer."

Bert: "Good, I Like It Just That Way Ernie, Soft."

Ernie: "But I Think, I Think I Like Most Of All, Is When I Turn The Radio Up Loud."

Bert: "Ernie! Ernie! That's Too Loud. You're Making The Radio Play Very Very Loudly!"

Ernie: "Bert, Don't Yell, I'm Tryin To Listen To The Radio!"

Bert: "I Will Yell Ernie! I Will Yell! I Have Every Right To Yell! I'll Yell And Yell And Yell Because I Can't Hear Myself Any Other Way!"

(Ernie Turns Off The Radio)

Bert: "Ernie! Now, You Really Do Not Care If I Want Some Peace And Quiet Do You?"

Ernie: "I Wonder What Would Happen If I Took The Knob Off This Radio..."

Bert: "You Know You Really Have No Consideration For People, Do You?"

Ernie: "C'mere Bert."

Bert: "What're You Doing?"

Ernie: "I'm Gonna Put The Volume Control On You."

Bert: "Wha! I Am Not A Radio, Ernie! Now Cut That Out!"

Ernie: "And Now I Think I'll Turn The Volume A Little Lower..."

Bert: (In A Softer Voice) "You Know You Cannot Do That To People, They Wanna Talk, They're Not Radios. And I Wanna Talk And I'll Tell You One Thing...."

(Ernie Turns The Volume Up)

Bert: (In A Louder Voice) "I Have Been Trying To Read Over There! I Have Been Trying To Read For So Long......."

(Ernie Turns The Volume Down)

Bert: (In A Softer Voice) "And I Hear The Radio Going Up And Down, Up And Down, Up And Down. And I Don't Want That. I Want....."

(Ernie Turns Bert Off)

Ernie: "Keeheeheehee."

(Ernie Leaves Bert There With His Mouth Flapping And No Sound Coming Out)