Bert: Ernie .... Ernie .... Ernie, I'm Tired Of That Program .... Ernie, We've Been Watching Television All Day [or For Several Hours?] And I'd Like To Play A Record Now .... Ernie?

Ernie: Shh, Bert! Keep It Down, I'm Trying To Watch Television.

Bert: Okay, Smart Guy, You Watch Your Ol' TV. I'm Going To Play A Record Anyway.

[Bert Promptly Marches Back To The Record Player, Starts Playing Jazzy Music And Dancing To It. Note: The TV, Record Player, Etc., Are Continuous Throughout The Arguement.]

Ernie: Bert?! BERT! Hey, I Can't Hear The Television! [No Response] Bert?! Okay, If That's The Way You Want To Be About It .... [he Goes Over The Radio, Turns It On Loudly, Starts Humming Along] (This Is Where I Get Lost, As There Is So Much Noise To Hear Either Clearly.)

Bert: Ernie! Alright Ernie! [whereupon He Runs Over To The Blender And Turns That On] Alright, HERE!

[By Now The Place Is Full Of Noise.]

Ernie: OH YEAH?!

Bert: YEAH! YOU LIKE IT??!

Ernie: OH YEAH!!

(POOOOOOOOF! All The Lights Go Out, The Sounds Quit, We See Only Ernie & Bert's Eyes Floating In The Total Blackness.)

Bert: Well Now, Look, You Blew A Fuse.

Ernie: Oh Yeah, Well It Was Your Idea Turning On The Dumb Mixer.

Bert: (resignedly, After A Pause) Look, .... Ernie .... How About You Go Around And Turn Off All That Stuff We Turned On, And I Will ... I'll Go And Try To Fix The Fuse. [Bert's Eyes Wander Off. Ernie's Eyes Go All Over As He Steps From Switch To Switch, Snapping Each Off With A Loud CLICK.]

Ernie: Okay .... First There's The Mixer (or Radio?) ..... Then There's The Radio (or Mixer?) ..... Over Here, Okay, Over Here The Television .... And One More, Back There--the Phonograph! Yeah .... That's Got 'em .... Yeah ....

(Suddenly The Lights Go Back On, Bert Returns. He And Ernie Start Playing Cards During The Following Dialogue:)

Bert: Look, Ernie, I'm--I'm Sorry About Playing A Record While You Were Watching TV ...

Ernie: Yeah, Well I'm Sorry About Turning On The Radio ...

Bert: Well, And I'm Sorry About Turning On The Blender ...

Ernie: Yeah, And I'm Sorry, I Shouldn't Be Watching So Much Television ...

Bert: Well, We Really Shouldn't Be Doing Stuff Like That Anyway ...

Ernie: Yeah, We Really Shouldn't, After All ....

[fade Out]