So You Think You Know

How To Wipe Your Own Nose

You Think You Know

How To Button Your Clothes

You Don't Know Shit

If You Hadn't Already Guessed

You're Just A Bump On The Log Of Life,

'Cause Mother Knows Best



She Tells Everybody

She Was Born In A Ditch

She Back-combs Her Hair

Till She Looks Like A Witch

Wolves In Her Train,

Serpents Suckle At Her Breast

Don't Forget To Wash Behind Your Ears,

'Cause Mother Knows Best



O You Lost Your Job,

Well Ain't That A Shame

You Got Nobody But Yourself To Blame

You Deserve Everything You Get

For Such A Carelessness

And Don't Eat Your Peas Off The Knife,

'Cause Mother Knows Best



So Your Baby's Hungry, So Your Baby's Sick

Don't Make Babies, That'll Do The Trick

Put Another String Of Barbed Wire

In Your Little Love Nest

It's Better Than A Cardboard Box,

'Cause Mother Knows Best



She Got A Zombie Army To Serve Her Well

She Got A Thousand Bloodhounds

From The Gates Of Hell

She Got A Hundred Black Horses

With Sulphur And Coal On Their Breath

And She Rides The Unbelievers Down,

Mother Knows Best



She Says "Bring Me Your First-born,

And I'll Suck Their Blood

Bring Me Your Poor,

I Can Trample In The Mud

Bring Me Your Visionaries,

I Can Put Out Their Eyes

And Bring Me Your Scholars,

I'll Have Them All Lobotomised,

'Cause Mother Knows Best