Wooo
(spoken)
You Know A Man Does Have To Eat Him Somethin'

I Love Candy Bars...eat Them All The Time
My Combo Meal's Are Super-sized
And I Crave The Stuff They Put Inside Those Dang Ding Dongs
Mmmm

My Cholesterol Is Off The Chart
I Keep A Blood Pressure Cuff On My Left Arm
Doctor Says That My Poor Heart Won't Last Too Long
My Nickname In School Was Double Wide
Cause My Momma Fried...

Now I Weigh 270 Somethin'
Always Huffin And Puffin
Lay Around The House All Day
No Wonder I Can't Lose No Weight
See That Pizza On The TV
Oh Man Don't It Look Cheesy
You Know They Deliver Here For Nothin'
That's Why I Weigh 270 Somethin'

My Insurance Said That They'd Co-pay
I Made The Same Appointment Carnie Wilson Made
Plastic Surgeon Said He Had A Way To Get Those Love Handles Off
He Stapled And Sucked Stuff Through A Tube
I Lost A Hundred Pounds In One Afternoon
When I Came To In The Recovery Room
Wuddn't Much Left Of Me
When He Removed The Bandages From My Thighs
I Couldn't Believe My Eyes

Now I Weigh 180 Somethin'
Didn't Have To Do Much Of Nothin'
I'm Lookin' Like Jean Claude Van Damme
To Fit In A Pair Mark Wills' Pants
Now Everyone Who Sees Me
Can't Believe That I'm So Skinny
My Body Fat Is Nearly Nothin'
Ha Ha
Now That I Weigh 180 Somethin'

WOOO

Ha Ha

Now I Date A Model With A GED
But Do You Think She'd Be With Me
I Wonder (I Wonder)
If I (If I)

Still Weighed...270 Somethin'
Stuffin Down Blueberry Muffins
Onion Rings And Cans Of SPAM
That's How I Got So Fat
Now Everyone Who Sees Me
Can't Believe That I'm So Skinny
I Used To Break A Sweat Just Doin' Nothin'
Back When I Weighed 270 Somethin'

Now I Weigh 180 Somethin'

(spoken)
Ah...well It's Probably Like More Like Around 225-26
None Of Y'all's Business How Much I Weigh
Huh Huh...