The First Time I Saw The Descendents,
They Were The Fastest Band I'd Ever Seen.
No One In The Crowd Really Cared For Them,
We Were Waiting For The Alley Cats To Play.
After A Couple Months I Heard Kabuki Girl,
On Rodney On The Roq Late Sunday Night.
That Was Enough, For Me I Hopped The Bus,
To Licorice Pizza And Bought My All Time Favorite Record.

The Next Time I Went To The Whiskey,
It Was DOA With Millions Of Dead Cops.
The Latter Band Played Faster Than I Could Believe,
But The Songs Sounded The Same And Kinda Sucked.
'Cept John Wayne Was A Nazi,
And Joey Shithead Was A Drunk.
Then John Macias Beat Some Hippie To A Pulp,
Cuz Having Long Hair Was A Mistake.

The Third Time I Went To The Hospital,
I Needed 13 Stitches In My Head.
I Managed To Catch About 6 Songs Of Ill Repute,
Then Some Suicidal Threw Me Into A Post.
My Girlfriend Started To Cry Cuz We Had To Leave,
Before DRI Played 50 Lousy Songs.
My Blood Stained Shirt Smelled Of Clove Cigarettes,
But It Sure Looked Pretty Cool After A Wash.