Verse 1



Lord Elderley, Lrd Borrowmere,

Lord Sickert And Lord Camp,

With Every Virtue, Every Grace,

Ah What Avails The Sceptred Race,

Here You See-the Four Of Us,

And There Are So Many More Of Us

Eldest Sons That Must Succeed.

We Know How Caesar Conquered Gaul

And How To Whack A Cricket Ball;

Apart From This, Our Education Lacks Co-ordination.

Though We're Young And Tentative

And Rather Rip-representative,

Scions Of A Noble Breed,

We Are The Products Of Those Homes Serene And Stately

Which Only Lately

Seem To Have Run To Seed!



Refrain 1



The Stately Homes Of England,

How Beautiful They Stand,

To Prove The Upper Classes

Have Still The Upper Hand;

Though The Fact That They Have To Be Rebuilt

And Frequently Mortgaged To The Hilt

Is Inclined To Take The Gilt

Off The Gingerbread,

And Certainly Damps The Fun

Of The Eldest Son-

But Still We Won't Be Beaten,

We'll Scrimp And Scrape And Save,

The Playing Fields Of Eton

Have Made Us Frightfully Brave-

And Though If The Van Dycks Have To Go

And We Pawn The Bechstein Grand,

We'll Stand

By The Stately Homes Of England.



Verse 2



Here You See

The Pick Of Us,

You May Be Heartily Sick Of Us,

Still With Sense

We're All Imbued.

Our Homes Command Extensive Views

And With Assistance From The Jews

We Have Been Able To Dispose Of

Rows And Rows And Rows Of

Gainsboroughs And Lawrences,

Some Sporting Prints Of Aunt Florence's,

Some Of Which Were Rather Rude.

Although We Sometimes Flaunt Our Family Conventions,

Our Good Intentions

Mustn't Be Misconstrued.



Refrain 2



The Stately Homes Of England

We Proudly Represent,

We Only Keep Them Up For

Americans To Rent,

Though The Pipes That Supply The Bathroom Burst

And The Lavatory Makes You Fear The Worst,

It Was Used By Charl