Verse 1



The India That One Read About

And May Have Been Misled About

In One Respect Has Kept Itself Intact.

Though 'Pukka Sahib' Traditions May Have Cracked

And Thinned

The Good Old Indian Army's Still A Fact.

That Famous Monumental Man

The Officer And Gentleman

Still Lives And Breathes And Functions From Bombay To Katmandu

At Any Moment One Can Glimpse

Matured Or Embryonic 'Blimps'

Vivaciously Speculating As To What Became Of Who.

Though Eastern Sounds May Fascinate Your Ear

When West Meets West You're Always Sure To Hear-



Refrain 1



Whatever Became Of Old Bagot?

I Haven't Seen Him For A Year.

Is It True That Young Forbes Had To Marry That Faggot

He Met In The Vale Of Kashmir?

Have You Had Any News

Or That Chap In The “Blues”,

Was It Prosser Or Pyecroft Or Pym?

He Was Stationed In Simla, Or Was It Bengal?

I Know He Got Tight At A Ball In Nepal

And Wrote Several Four-letter Words On The Wall.

I Wonder What Happened To Him!



Refrain 2



Whatever Became Of Old Shelley?

Is It True That Young Briggs Was Cashiered

For Riding Quite Nude On A Push-bike Through Delhi

The Day The New Viceroy Appeared?

Have You Had Any Word

Of That Bloke In The 'Third',

Was It Southerby, Sedgwick Or Sim?

They Had Him Thrown Out Of The Club In Bombay

For, Apart From His Mess Bill Exceeding His Pay,

He Took To Pig-sticking In Quite The Wrong Way.

I Wonder What Happened To Him!



Verse 2



One Must Admit That By And Large

Upholders Of The British Raj*

Don't Shine In Conversation As A Breed.

Though Indian Army Officers Can Read

A Bit

Their Verbal Wit-has Rather Run To Seed.

Their Splendid Insularity

And Roguish Jocularity

Was Echoing Through When Victoria Was Queen.

In Restaurants And Dining-cars,

In Messes, Clubs And Hotel Bars

They Try To Maintain Tradition In The Way It's