Spoken Introduction:

(Nicholas! Albert! Look, I Don't Know Where They Are, But I'd Like You To Meet My Two Pals, My Buddies, My Two Amigos. I'll Tell You All About Them...well...)



I Never Gargled, I Never Gambled, I Never Smoked At All.

Until I Met My Two Good Amigos, Nick Teen And Al K. Hall.



Strange As It Seems, I Met In My Dreams, Nick Teen And Al K. Hall.

Here's What They Said To Me, 'Use Your Head, Just See Your Life Is Very, Very Dull"



Well, I Never Gargled, I Never Gambled, I Never Smoked At All.

Until I Met My Two Good Amigos, Nick Teen And Al K. Hall.



So I Said To Nick, 'Nick Tell Me Quick, What Should A Fellow Do?'

He Said To Me, 'Boy, Easy To See Boy, You Should Try A Cigarette Or Two.'



Well, I Never Gargled, I Never Gambled, I Never Smoked At All.

Until I Met My Two Good Amigos, Nick Teen And Al K. Hall.



So I Lit A Fag, And I Took A Drag, Then To My Great Surprise,

I Started To Gasp, And Coughed Like A Rasp,

And Everything Spun Round Before My Eyes.



Well, I Never Gargled, I Never Gambled, I Never Smoked At All.

Until I Met My Two Good Amigos, Nick Teen And Al K. Hall.



So I Said To Al, 'Al, Be A Pal, What Do You Really Think?'

He Said To Me, 'Boy, Easy To See Boy, Smoking's Kid's Stuff, Pour Yourself A Drink.'



Well, I Never Gargled, I Never Gambled, I Never Smoked At All.

Until I Met My Two Good Amigos, Nick Teen And Al K. Hall.



So Quick As A Wink, I Took A Drink, Swigged A Glassful Down.

First It Seemed To Hit Me, Then It Turned Around And Bit Me,

And Everything Went All Spinning Round.



Well, I Never Gargled, I Never Gambled, I Never Smoked At All.

Until I Met My Two Good Amigos, Nick Teen And Al K. Hall.



Well, Here Is The Joke, When I Awoke, It Wasn't Finished Yet,

I Noticed First A Terrible Thirst

And Then A Craving For A Cigarette.



Well, I Never Gargled, I Never Gambled, I Never Smoked At All.

Until I Met My Two Good Am