Well You Should See My Story Reading Baby, You Should Hear The Things That She Says,

She Says "Hon, Drop Dead, I'd Rather Go To Bed With Gabriel Garcia Marquez."

Uhh-huh!



Cuddle Up With William S. Burrows, Leave On The Light For Bell Hooks,

I've Been Flirtin' With Pierre Burton 'cause He's So Smart In His Books



I Like To Go Out Dancing,

My Baby Loves A Bunch Of Authors

My Heart's So Broke And Bleedin'

Baby's Just Sitting There

Doing Some Reading



So I Started Watching Some TV, Played My New Cd Player Too,

She Said: "Turn It Off Or I'll Call The Cops And I'll Throw The Book At You."

All This Arguing Made Me Get Dizzy, Called My Doctor To Come Have A Look

I Said: "Doctor Hurry!" He Said:

"Don't Worry, I'll Be Over When I Finish My Book"



I Like To Go Out Dancing,

My Baby Loves A Bunch Of Authors

We've Been Livin In Hovels

Spendin' All Our Money On

Brand New Novels



So I Got Myself On A Streetcar And It Drove Right Into Someone,

You Know The Driver Said:

"I Was Lookin' Straight Ahead!"

But He Was Reading The Toronto Sun

"So?"



So My Honey And Me Go To A Counsellor To Help Figure Out What We Need

She Said: "We'll Get Your Love Growing,

But Before We Get Going, Here's Some Books I'd Like You To Read."



I Like To Go Out Dancing,

My Baby Loves A Bunch Of Authors

Lately We've Had Some Fricton

'Cause My Baby's Hooked On

Short Works Of Fiction



So We Split And Went To A Party, Some Friends My Girl Said She Knew

But What A Sight 'cause It's Authors Night And The Place Looks Like A Who's Who



Now I'm Pounding The Ouzo

With Mario Puzo

Who's A Funny Fella?

W.P. Kinsella

Who Brought The Cat?

Would Margeret Atwood?

Who Needs A Shave?

He's Robertson Davies!



Ondaatje Started A Food Fight