There Was A Boy In Arkansas
Who Wouldn't Listen To His Ma
When She Told Him That He Should Go To School
He'd Sneak Away In The Afternoon
Take A Little Walk And Pretty Soon
You'd Find Him At The Local Auction Barn

Well, He'd Stand And Listen Carefully
Then Pretty Soon He Began To See
How The Auctioneer Could Talk So Rapidly
His Pappy'd Find Him Behind The Barn
Just A Workin Up An Awful Storm
As He Tried To Immitate The Auctioneer

25 Dollar 30 Now 30 Dollar Etc...
Who Will Bid It At A 35 Dollar Bid
30 Dollar 35 Etc...
Who Will Bid It At A 35 Dollar Bid

Said His Pappy, "Son We Just Can't Stand A Havin'
A Mediocre Man,
You Gotta Take That Auction Usin' Our Good Name
I'll Send You Off To Auction School
And Then You'll Be Nobody's Fool
You'll Be The Best Of All The Auctioneers

35 Dollar 40 Dollar Etc
Who Will Bid It A A 45 Dollar Bid
40 Dollar Etc
Who Will Bid It At A 45 Dollar Bid

Well From That Morning He Went To School
There Grew A Man Who Played It Cool
He Came Back Home A Full Fledged Auctioneer
And People Came From Miles Around
Just To Hear Him Make That Rhythmic Sound
Cause He's The Best Of All The Auctioneers
Well His Fame Reached Out From Shore To Shore
He Had All He Could Do And More
He Had To Buy A Plane To Get Around
Now He's The Best In All The Land
So Let's All Give That Man A Hand
He's The Best Of All The Auctioneers

45 Dollar 50 Now Etc...
Who Will Bid It At A 55 Dollar Bid
50 Dollar 50 Now Will You Give Me 55 Etc
Sold That Horse For A 50 Dollar Bill