A B C D E F G H I Gotta' Gal Wears Her Toenails Long.
Drives A Red Barracuda, Singin' Meat Packer Songs
And She Ain't From Kalamazoo.

A B C D E F G H I Gotta' Friend Lived In A Mercedes-Benz.
Then A 55 Chrysler Where The Trunk Never Ends/
And The Plates Say Kalamazoo.

He Had A Steady Job And Watched What He Spent.
He'd Say I Don't Believe In Payin' No Goddamn Rent.
I'll Squirrel Away Every Goddamn Cent
And Buy My Own Damn House In Kalamazoo.

I Knew A Guy That Mangled His Hand,
And He Went From Pipe Fittin' To A Hot Dog Stand.
They Say Last Year He Cleared Fifty Grand
Selling Dogs Round Kalamazoo.

She Turned To The World With A Bastard Child.
Said, "I Just Can't Handle Him He's Too Damn Wild".
But The Years And The Liquor Have Made Him Mild.
And He Lays Around In Kalamazoo.