I Give My Woman Half My Money At The General Store
I Said, "Now Buy A Little Groceries, And Don't Spend No More."
But She Gave Ten Dollars For A Ten Cent Hat
And Bought Some Store Bought Cat Food For A Mean Eyed Cat.

When I Give Her Ten More Dollars For A One Way Ticket
She Was Mad As Could Be
Then I Bet Ten More That If She Ever Left
She'd Come A-crawlin' Back To Me
When I Woke Up This Mornin' And I Turned My Head
There Wasn't A Cotton Pickin' Thing On Her Side Of The Bed
I Found A Little Note Where Her Head Belonged
It Said, "Dear John, Honey, Baby, I'm Long Gone."

When I Heard A Whistle Blowin', And The Big Wheels A-turnin'
I Was Scared As I Could Be
I Pt On My Overalls And I Headed To Town
Gonna Bring Her Back With Me.

I Asked The Man Down At The Station If He'd Seen Her There
I Told Him All About Her Pretty Eyes And Long, Bonde Hair
He Spit His Tobacco, Said, "I'll Be Dad Blamed....
I Believe I Did See Her Leavin' On The East Bound Train."

I Bought A Round Trip Ticket On The East Bound Train
I Was Broke As I Could Be
But When I Come Back, Gotta Buy Another Ticket
Gotta Bring Her Back With Me.

Well' I Got Off The Train Somewhere In Arkansas
And I Worked Up The Guts To Call My Mother-In-Law
She Said, "I'll Tell You Where She Is, If You Act Right."
"She's Workin' Four To Twelve At Trucker's World Tonight."

When I Walked In She Saw Me, And She Took Off Her Apron
And She Grabbed Her Goin' Home Hat
She Bought A Ticket With Her Tips
And Now We'e Curled Up On The Sofa, Me And Her....and That Mean Eyed Cat.