On Nights Like This

When The World's A Bit Amiss

And The Lights Go Down

Across The Trailer Park

I Get Down, I Feel Had

Feel On The Verge Of Going Mad

Then It's Time To Punch The Clock:



I Put On Some Make-up

Turn On The Tape Deck

And Put The Wig Back On My Head

Suddenly I'm Miss Midwest Midnight Checkout Queen

Until I Go Home, And I Put Myself To Bed



I Look Back From Where I'm From

Look At The Woman I've Become

And The Strangest Things Seem

Suddenly Routine

I Look Up From My Vermouth On The Rocks

The Giftwrapped Wig Still In The Box

Of Towering Velveteen:



I Put On Some Make-up

Some LaVern Baker

And Pull The Wig Down From The Shelf

Suddenly I'm Miss Behive 1963

Until I Wake Up

And I Turn Back To Myself



Some Girls, They Got Natural Ease

They Wear It Any Way They Please

With Their French Flipped Curls

And Perfumed Magazines

Wear It Up, Let It Down

This Is The Best Way That I've Found

To Be The Best You've Ever Seen:



I Put On Some Make-up

Turn On The Eight-track

I'm Pulling The Wig Down From The Shell

Suddenly I'm Miss Farrah Fawcett From TV

Until I Wake Up

And I Turn Back To Myself



Shag, Bi-level, Bob

Dorothy Hamill 'do

Sausage Curls, Chicken Wings

It's All Because Of You

With Your Blow-dried, Feather Backed

Toni Home Wave Too

Flip, Fro, Frizz, Flop

It's All Because Of You It's

ALL Because Of You It's

ALL Because Of You



Okay, Everybody:



I Put On Some Make-up

Turn On The Eight-track

I'm Pulling The Wig Down From The Shelf

Suddenly I'm Miss Punk Rock Star Of Stage And Screen

And I Ain't Never-

I'm Never Turning Back!