Internet Relationships Are Not Real
Your Heart People Steal But Identities Conceal
So Here's A Tale Of Warning For Girls And Boys
Laptop Computers Can Be Dangerous Toys

[DARYL47:] In The Chat Room, I Inspect. Who's Here Tonight? ASL Check
[CarolBabe69:] I'm 20/f From The UK. Send Me An IM And I'll Make Your Day
[DARYL47:] I'm 22 And My Name Is Daryl
[CarolBabe69:] Nice To Meet You Daryl My Name Is Carol
[DARYL47:] What Do You Like Carol?
[CarolBabe69:] I Like To Go To Shows. I Collect Comic Books And Vintage Clothes
What Do You Like?
[DARYL47:] I Like To Skate. I Play Rock Guitar, But I'm Not That Great
I Like To Go On Dates And I Like To Stay Up Late
I Live In San Francisco And Hang On The Haight
[CarolBabe69:] Do You Like The Golden Gate?
[DARYL47:] I Did When I Was Eight
[CarolBabe69:] Maybe I Can Come And Visit?
[DARYL47:] Maybe You Should Wait
See I'm Really Forty-seven, I Have Kids And A Wife
I Weight 300 Pounds And I Really Hate My Life
[CarolBabe69:] Are You Serious?
[DARYL47:] Yes
[CarolBabe69:] Well, I've Got A Secret Too. I'm Not 20 Years Old, I'm Really 32
I Only Have One Leg And I Like To Sniff Glue
[DARYL47:] You Lied To Me Carol
[CarolBabe69:] Well, You Lied To Me Too

[CHORUS]
It's Not Normal To Have An Internet Girlfriend.
Online Relationships Are Really Just Pretend
Unplug Your Heart, Upgrade Your System.
Get, Get Off The Internet

Bob Went On MySpace For Hours A Day.
Talking To Girls From Moscow To LA
But People Can Surprise You From Behind A Screen
Listen To This Verse And You'll See What I Mean

[SueChick1990:] Hi, I'm Susie, I Like Your Profile
I Checked Out Your Pics And I Like Your Smile
[BOBSTER MAN:] Sounds Good Susie, I'll Be Your Friend
We Can Message Each Other Again And Again
[SueChick1990:] Comment On My Pics And Post On My Page
Join My Groups And Guess My Age!
[BOBSTER MAN:] You Must Be 18, How Could You Not?
You Can't Be In High School You're Just Too Hot
[SueChick1990:] Let Me Send You Pics For Your Personal Collection
I Hope They Inspire You And Give You A Smile
Susie Sent Bob Pics That Were Borderline Obscene
The Cops Showed Up At His Door - She Was Only 16

[REPEAT CHORUS]

If You Don't Believe Us Here's A Final Story
About A Boy Named Marcus And His Online Girlfriend Lori
Behind The Monitor, Truth Is Hidden From Your Eyes
Marcus Didn't Know But He Was In For A Surprise

[MARCUSP:] We've Been Dating For A While But Let's Cut To The Chase
I Don't Know What You Look Like, And I Want To See Your Face
[Laurie69:] But What Does It Matter? You Know Who I Am Inside
[MARCUSP:] What If You're Not A Woman And This Whole Time You Lied?
[Laurie69:] You Got Me There, I'm Not Really A Female
I'm A Guy Who Pretends To Be A Girl Through Email
[MARCUS:] So This Is Why It's Bad To Meet Women Online
Living Life Behind The Screen Is A Total Waste Of Time!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships)