Peter:

Nothing Else Has Worked So Far,

So I'll Wish Upon A Star,

Wondrous Sparkling Speck Of Light,

I Need A Jew...



Lois Makes Me Take The Rap,

'Cause Our Checkbook Looks Like Crap,

Since I Can't Give Her A Slap,

I Need A Jew...



Where To Find

A Baum Or Stien Or Stein

To Teach Me How To Whine

And Do My Taxes...



Though By Many They're Abhorred,

Hebrew People I've Adored,

Even Though They Killed My Lord,

I Need A Jew!



Max:

Hi, My Name's Max Weinstein,

My Car Just Broke Down,

Can I Use You Phone?



Peter:

Now My Troubles Are All Through

I Have A Jew!



Max:

Hey!