Opening Music

Howard Stern Singing:
This Song.. Makes Me Cry, Makes Me Crave.. A Man's Backside.
Every Time I Hear This Dumb Song Played, I Feel Like I'm Gay.
I Watch.. The Telly While Ralph.. Shaves My Belly.
People Wonderin' If I'm Still Straight.. Am I Going Gaaayhey?
Tell Me Why.. This Song Makes My Butt Ache.
Tell Me Why.. Homo Love Could Be A Mistake.
Men's Backside's Are A Dirty Place.
Could I Go The Gay Way?

Fred Norris Singing:
Jackie.. Bend Ooover, And Bark Loud.. Like Ro-ver..
Would K.C. Be My Love Sla-ave? If I Went The Gay Way.

Howard Stern Singing:
Get K-Y!.. I'm Singin' Like A Sissy.
Get K-Y!.. Ralph Come And Smell My Butt Cheeks.
Get K-Y!.. I'm Thinkin' 'bout The Ballet
Could I Go The Gay Way?

Fred Norris Singing:
Will There Be Pain, That I Can Not Explain, What's Coming Over Me?
If I Start To Resist, Please Don't Use Fist, Or I Might Need Some Surgery!

Howard Stern Singing:
I Watch.. The Telly.. While Ralph.. Shaves My Belly.

Homo.. Homo.. Homo.. Homo.. Homo.. With Every Passing Day!

Howard Stern Singing:
Get K-Y!.. Would I Like To See A Sphincter?
Get K-Y!.. No Smell Is More Distincter!
Get K-Y!.. I Wonder What My Wife Would Saaaaaay!
If I Went The Gay Way!

Get K-Y!.. Sphincter, Sphincter, Sphincter, Sphincter!
Get K-Y!.. Di-stincter, Stincter, Stincter!
Get K-Y!.. Oh, Fred I Need Your Sphincter!
Get K-Y!.. Give Me K.C.'s It's More Distincter!
Get K-Y!.. I Wonder What My Wife Would Saaaaaay!

If I Went The Gay Way!

If I..went The Gay Way.