Hello, Allow Me To Introduce Myself
My Name Is Shady, It′s So Nice To Meet You
It's Been A Long Time, I′m Sorry, I've Been Away So LongMy Name Is Shady, I Never Meant To Leave You

You See That Chick In The Gym Checkin' Me Out?
Any Second I′m ′bout To Stick Her Neck In My Mouth
I Lose A Pill And I'm Recklessly Wreckin′ The House
That Was Supposed To Be Breakfast, Where The Heck Is It Now?

There's The Necklace I Lost Right Next To Stephanie′s Blouse
Man, I Should Check To See If My Mom Left Any Out
Nope, Guess I'll Reroute, Maybe Somewhere In The Depths Of The Couch
Oh, Jackpot, Yeah, Open Sesame Mouth

Down The Hatch, Had The Feelin′ You Can't Match It
A Rat-tat-tap On Your Door With The Damn Ratchet
Attack-tack-tackin' A Whore With A Damn Hatchet
A Knapsack Packed With Like 40 Some Xanax′s

Shortly Come Back, I′m Tryin To Score Me Some Lap Dances
I'm ′bout To Relapse, So Baby, Pour Me Some Jack Daniels
Formula 44D And 40's With Bad Capsules
The Bad Apple Spoils The Bunch, I′m Back Atcha

Well, I Don't Mean Any Harm, All I Wanted To Do Was To Just Say Hello
And Are You Menstruatin′, Baby? My Lil' Friend's Waitin′ To Say Hello
The Way Your Titties Are Wigglin′ And Your Booty's Shakin′ Like Jello
Well I Don't Mean Any Harm, All I Wanted To Do Was To Just Say Hello

Yeah, My Equilibrium′s Off, Must Be The Lithium
I Don't Need To Buy Any Drugs, Man, People Gimme ′em
It Just Becomes Everyday, Extra Curriculum
No Reason In Particular, It Was Strictly Fun

A 5th Of Rum And 2 Bottles Of 151
51 People Asleep In My Damn Livin' Room
Excuse Me, Hun, But What Is Your Name, Vivienne?
I Woke Up Next To Ya Naked And Err, Did We Um?

Of Course We Did, But Didn't I Strap A Jimmy, Hun?
I′m Lookin′ For The Torn Wrapper But There Don't Seem To Be One
No Offense, Baby Girl, I Don′t Mean Any Harm
But Disease Is Somethin' I′m Tryna Keep My Penis Free From

I Find The Package And I'm Cool, I Immediately Run
Like Speedy Gonzales To See If I See Anyone
Who Might Have A Couple Of 3′s, I'm Fiendin' For Some
My Head Is Poundin′ To The Beat Of The Drum

Well, I Don′t Mean Any Harm, All I Wanted To Do Is Just Say Hello
Do Ya Happen To Have Anythin' On You To Make My Mood Mellow?
Some Are Opal And Some Are Pink
Some Are Blue And Some Are Just Yellow
Well, I Don′t Mean Any Harm, All I Wanted To Do Is Just Say Hello

Oh, Those Were The Days, They Certainly Were
It's Hurtin′ Me To Know That I'll Be Closin′ That Curtain For Good
Word, Word, Word, Word, Word, Word, Word
I Second That And A Third, Rushed To Emergency Surgery

To Try To Flush Me Because Of The Drugs That He Purchased
He's No Longer Gettin' Them Free, 100 Bucks For These Percodans
Plus It′s Gettin′ To Be Where He Lustfully Searched The Den
Pain Is Hittin' His Knee And His Muscles Be Hurtin′ Him

Tirelessly On The Phone Tryin' To Russle Up
Muscle Relaxants For His Back And A Couple Of Pax′s
Now He's Doublin′ Backwards And He's Stumblin' Back
Slipped And Fell, Hit His Back Bone, Heard Somethin′ Go Crack

Now He′s Up In The Bathroom Like He's Bustin′ A Nap
Almost Ended It That Soon Because Of The Fact
I'm Just Bustin′ My Own Chops While I'm Bustin′ A Rap
Resuscitated And Rejuved, So Fuck It, I'm Back

Well, I Don't Mean Any Harm, All I Wanted To Do Is Just Say Hello
Do Ya Happen To Have Anythin′ On You To Make My Mood Mellow?
Some Are Opal And Some Are Pink
Some Are Blue And Some Are Just Yellow
Girl, I Don′t Mean Any Harm, All I Wanted To Do Is Just Say Hello

That's All I′m Sayin'

Hello, Allow Me To Introduce Myself
My Name Is Shady, It′s So Nice To Meet You
It's Been A Long Time, I′m Sorry, I've Been Away So Long
My Name Is Shady, I Never Meant To Leave You

Yeah, It's Like Startin′ Over, Clean Slate, Ha