Get Ready For The Blast Off!

And Don't Forget The Hype!

We're Going Into Space.



Distinguished Scientists

A Pesky Senator

And Monkey Turds Leaking From The Lab

All Brought To Us Play-by-play By Howard Cosell



You're Going Where No Man Has Gone Before

Because We Owe You Some Favors

And Besides You're Bright

A Little Too Bright



Step One:

Senator, Your Vomit,

It's Time To Analyze It

For The Folks Back Home



Open The Hatch, Launch The War Satellite

That The Commies Aren't Supposed To Know About

Our Real Challenge Is To Keep It A Secret

From The Press Back Home



You're Going Where No Man Has Gone Before

Don't Ask Us Where That Is-we Have No Idea



You're Chosen For This Great Mission

Because You're Hearty And Strong

And Make A Lot Of Fuss

Especially Around Us

We Like You Better When You're Far Away



Have You Noticed?

You're Gong The Wrong Direction

We Have,

But That's Your Problem

We Planned It That Way

We Had To Dispose Of All Of You So

We Can Spoil The Final Frontier

How Dare You Question Our Star Wars Plans

For The Farce That They Are?



You're Going Where No Man Has Gone Before

For Rocking The Boat

In Our Temple Of Doom



You're On A One-way Ticket To Pluto

We Wash Our Hands

Of You And Your Lost Ark

Don't Forget To Write: NO NO NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO NO

NO