You Really Like Gorillas?

We've Got Just The Pet For You

It's The Way You're Forced To Act

To Survive Our Schools



Make Your Whole Life Revolve Around Sports

Walk Tough-don't Act Too Smart

Be A Mean Machine

Then We'll Let You Get Ahead



Jock-O-Rama-Save My Soul

We're Under The Thumb Of The Beef Patrol

The Future Of America Is In Their Hands

Watch It Roll Over Niagara Falls

Pep Rally In The Holy Temple

And You're Forced To Go

Masturbate En Masse

With The Favored Religious Cult

Cheerleaders Yell-"Ra Ra Team"

From The Locker Room Parades The Prime Beef

When Archaeologists Dig This Up

They'll Either Laugh Or Cry



Jock-O-Rama-On The Brain

Redneck-a-thon Drivin' Me Insane

The Future Of America Is In Their Hands

Watch It Roll Over Niagara Falls

Unzip That Old Time Religion

On The Almighty Football Field

Beerbellies Of All Ages

Come To Watch The Gladiators Bleed

"Now Boys, This Game Ain't Played For Fun

You're Going Out There To Win

How D'ya Win?

Get Out There

And Snap The Other Guy's Knee!"



Beat 'em Up! Beat 'em Up!

Ra Ra Ra

Snap Those Spinal Cords

Ha Ha Ha



The Star Quarterback Lies Injured

Unconscious On The Football Field

Looks Like His Neck's Been Broken

Seems To Happen Somewhere Every Year



His Mom And Dad Clutch Themselves And Cry

Their Favorite Son Will Never Walk Again

Coach Says, "That Boy Gave A Hundred Percent

What Spirit

What A Man"



But Who Cares?

Games Over-Let's Go Get Wasted Man

To The 7-11, To The Liquor Store

Let's Party All Night And Party Some More



Another Trans-Am

Wrapped Itself Around A Telephone Pole

"I Ain't Drunk, Officer

I Just Fell Gettin' Out Of My Car"



Don't Worry About It, Son

We Were That Way When We Were Young

You've Got All The Skills