Seein' Double, Livin' Single

Night Club Frustrated Tryin' To Mingle

There's A Girl Dancin' Over There

She's Got Very Fascinating Hair

But I Can't Work Up The Nerve To Do My Schpeel

With My Big Foot Stuck In My Mouth

I End Up Talkin' Like A Heel



Cuz I'm A Loser, Not A Schmoozer

And A No Luck In Woman Cruiser



I'm A Dog Without A Leash, A Jigsaw Puzzle Lookin' For A Piece

I'm A Kid Without A Toy, I Am The World's Forgotten Boy

Why Can't I Work Up A Silly Nerve To Talk No Shit

Like A Square Peg, Stuck In A Hole, I Just Don't Fit



Cuz I'm A Loser, Not A Schmoozer

And A No Luck Woman Cruiser

Not A Wheeler Or A Dealer

She's On A Pedestal And I'm A Kneeler

I'm A Loser And A Boozer

I'm A Loser, Not A Schmoozer

Never Ever Gonna Be A Chooser



The Prince Of Fools, The King Of Pain

It's Enough To Drive A Poor Man Insane

I'm Lookin' Hard But I Fear

Another Lonely Night Bartender Gimme A Beer

Why Do I Even Try, I Get The Same Old Line

She Said My Boyfriend's Much Bigg Than You

I Said What A Waste Of Time



Oh My God That Girl Just Winked At Me

So I Worked Up My Courage, Feels Like I'm Gonna Pee

I Said Baby, She Just Froze

She Said Did Your Mother Dress You

Where'd You Get Those Clothes