KWIRK

Captain's Log; Stardate: 3.142857--Aw, Forget About It! This Is Captain Kwirk On The Starship Intercourse. Thrusting Its Way Through Space, On Another Penetrating Mission.



(“Alleluia” Song Is Playing.)



HUNKIE

Captain! Captain! What's That In Space Ahead?



KWIRK

Huh? Oh No, It's Another Space Tricky! Darn This Solar System Anyway! Nothing But Space Trickys. Get The Phasers On That Bird.



HUNKIE

Captain! Captain! All The Stars Have Gone Out!



KWIRK

No, You Fool! You've Leaned On The Button! Turn The Viewer Back On! Now Get The Phasers On That Bird.



LOUD VOICE

I Am An Angel Of The Lord!



KWIRK

(the Effects Slow Down Like A Record)

Yeow! That Baked Him Good!



HUNKIE

Oh Wow, It Looks Just Like Thanksgiving Out There!



KWIRK

Don't Think About It, Lt. Hunkie!



HUNKIE

I Can't Help Thinking About It. Last Thanksgiving Was Rotten. Just That Food Supplement Pill With “turkey” Written On It. It's Not The Same, Captain. It's Not The Same.



KWIRK

Turn Off The View Screen, We're Out Here And This Is Where We Are.



HUNKIE

Why Can't I Think About It? I'm An Officer, Too.



KWIRK

You've Got Enough To Think About, You've Got A Whole Dashboard To Take Care Of.



SMOCK

Captain, Have Your (?) Space Turkey Has Knocked Up Slightly Off Course.



KWIRK

Well, Lemon...



SMOCK

It's Leh-meen, Sir.



KWIRK

Now We Must Get Back On Course.



SMOCK

It's Leh-meen, Sir, Did You Hear Me Say That?



KWIRK

Nah--uh--y-yes--uh--uh, Lie-nen, Uh, But We Must Get Back On Course.



SMOCK

Yes Sir, We Must Get Back On Course, Do You Want To Check The Reading?



KWIRK

Aw Yes, Let Me See, The “quick Brown Fox.”



SMOCK

That Is The Wrong Reading, I'll Check This.



KWIRK

Oh, Oh, I See, Yah, Yes, N-now My Communicator. Get Me Engineering.



EUBANGDERE

That's My Box, Captain!



KWIRK