I Saw It Advertised One Day,

Bear Mountain Picnic Was Comin' My Way.

"Come Along 'n' Take A Trip,

We'll Bring You Up There On A Ship.

Bring The Wife And Kids

Bring The Whole Family."

Yippee!



Well, I Run Right Down 'n' Bought A Ticket

To This Bear Mountain Picnic.

But Little Did I Realize

I Was In For A Picnic Surprise.

Had Nothin' To Do With Mountains.

I Didn't Even Come Close To A Bear.



Took The Wife 'n' Kids Down To The Pier,

Six Thousand People There,

Everybody Had Ticket For The Trip.

"Oh Well." I Said, "it's A Pretty Big Ship.

Besides, Anyway, The More The Merrier."



Well, We All Got On 'n' What D'ya Think,

That Big Old Boat Started T' Sink

More People Kept A-pilin' On,

That Old Ship Was A-slowly Goin' Down.

Funny Way T' Start A Picnic.



Well, I Soon Lost Track Of M' Kids 'n' Wife,

So Many People There I Never Saw In M' Life

That Old Ship Sinkin' Down In The Water,

Six Thousand People Tryin' T' Kill Each Other,

Dogs A-barkin', Cats A-meowin',

Women Screamin', Fists A-flyin', Babies Cryin',

Cops A-comin', Me A-runnin'.

Maybe We Just Better Call Off The Picnic.



I Got Shoved Down 'n' Pushed Around,

All I Could Hear There Was A Screamin' Sound,

Don't Remember One Thing More,

Just Remember Walkin' Up On A Little Shore,

Head Busted, Stomach Cracked,

Feet Splintered, I Was Bald, Naked. . .

Quite Lucky To Be Alive Though.



Feelin' Like I Climbed Outa M' Casket,

I Grabbed Back Hold Of M' Picnic Basket.

Took The Wife 'n' Kids 'n' Started Home,

Wishin' I'd Never Got Up That Morn.



Now, I Don't Care Just What You Do,

If You Wanta Have A Picnic, That's Up T' You.

But Don't Tell Me About It, I Don't Wanta Hear It,

'Cause, See, I