September First, 1989
Dear Diary
I Believe I′m A Good Person
You Know, I Think That There's Good In Everyone, But
Here We Are, First Day Of Senior Year!
And Uh, I Look Around At These Kids
That I′ve Known All My Life And I Ask Myself
"What Happened?"
(Slut, Burnout)
(Bug-eyes, Poser, Lard-ass)

We Were So Tiny, Happy, And Shiny
Playing Tag And Getting Chased
(Freak, Slut, Loser, Short-bus)
Singing And Clapping, Laughing And Napping
Baking Cookies, Eating Paste
(Bull-dyke, Stuck-up, Hunchback)

Then We Got Bigger, That Was The Trigger
Like The Huns Invading Rome
(Ooh, Ugh!) Oh, Sorry

Welcome To My School, This Ain't No High School
This Is The, "Thunder Dome"
Hold Your Breath And Count The Days
We're Graduating Soon
(White Trash!)
College Will Be Paradise
If I′m Not Dead By June

But I Know, I Know
Life Can Be Beautiful
I Pray, I Pray
For A Better Way
If We Changed Back Then
We Could Change Again
We Can Be Beautiful

(Ow) Just Not Today
Hey, Are You Okay?
(Get Away, Nerd)
Oh, Okay
(Freak, Slut, Cripple)
(Homo, Homo, Homo)

Things Will Get Better, Soon As My Letter
Comes From Harvard, Duke, Or Brown
Wake From This Coma, Take My Diploma
Then, I Can Blow This Town

Dream Of Ivy-covered Walls
And Smoky French Cafés
(Watch It)
Fight The Urge To Strike A Match
And Set This Dump Ablaze

(Oops)
Ram Sweeney
Third Year As Linebacker And Eighth Year
Of Smacking Lunch Trays And Being A Huge Dick
(What Did You Say To Me, Skank?)
Aah, Nothing

But I Know, I Know
Life Can Be Beautiful
I Pray, I Pray
For A Better Way
We Were Kind Before
We Can Be Kind Once More
We Can Be Beautiful (beautiful)

Ah!
Hey, Martha (hey)
Martha Dunnstock
My Best Friend Since Diapers
We On For Movie Night?
Yeah, You′re On Jiffy Pop Detail
I Rented, "The Princess Bride"
Ho-ho-ho, Again?
Wait, Don't You Have It Memorized By Now?
What Can I Say?
I′m A Sucker For A Happy Ending

(Martha Dump Truck)
(Wide Load, Honk, Haha!)
Kurt Kelly, Quarterback
He Is The Smartest Guy On The Football Team
Which Is Kind Of Like Being The Tallest Dwarf
(Haha, Alright!)

Hey!
Pick That Up, Right Now
(I'm Sorry, Are You Actually Talking To Me?)
Yes, I Am
I Wanna Know What Gives You The Right To Pick On My Friend
You′re A High School Has-been Waiting To Happen
A Future Gas Station Attendant
(You Have A Zit Right There, Hahaha)

Dear Diary
Why? (Why Do They Hate Me?)
(Why Don't I Fight Back?)
(Why Do I Act Like Such A Creep?)

Why? (Why Won′t He Date Me?)
(Why Did I Hit Him?)
(Why Do I Cry Myself To Sleep?)
Why? (Somebody Hug Me)
Somebody Fix Me
Somebody Save Me
Send Me A Sign, God
Give Me Some Hope, Here
Something To Live For

(Ahh-ah)
(Heather, Heather, And Heather)
And Then There's The Heathers
They Float Above It All
(I Love Heather, Heather, And Heather)
Heather McNamara, Head Cheerleader (I Hate Heather)
Her Dad Is Loaded, He Sells Engagement Rings (Heather And Heather)

Heather Duke, Runs The Yearbook (I Want Heather)
No Discernible Personality (Heather, Heather)
But, Her Mom Did Pay For Implants (and Heather)
And Heather Chandler, The Almighty (I Need Heather, Heather)
She Is A Mythic Bitch
They're Solid Teflon, Never Bothered, Never Harassed
I Would Give Anything To Be Like That

(Mmm) I′d Like To Be Their Boyfriend
(That Would Be Beautiful)
(Mmm) If I Sat At Their Table, Guys Would Notice Me
(So Beautiful)
(Hmm) I′d Like Them To Be Nicer
(That Would Be Beautiful)
I'd Like To Kidnap A Heather And Photograph Her Naked In
An Abandoned Warehouse And Leave Her Tied Up For The Rats

Grow Up, Heather, Bulimia Is So ′87
Maybe You Should See A Doctor, Heather
Yeah, Heather, Maybe I Should
Ah, Heather And Heather
And Heather

Perhaps You Didn't Hear The Bell Over All The Vomiting
You′re Late For Class
Heather Wasn't Feeling Well
We′re Helping Her
Not Without A Hall Pass, You're Not
Week's Detention

Um, Actually, Miss Fleming
All Four Of Us Are Out On A Hall Pass
Yearbook Committee
I See You′re All Listed
Hurry Up And Get Where You′re Going
This Is An Excellent Forgery

Who Are You?
Uh, Veronica Sawyer
I Crave A Boon
What Boon?
Um, Let Me Sit At Your Table, At Lunch
Just Once, No Talking Necessary
If People Think That You Guys Tolerate Me, Then They'll Leave Me Alone
Before You Answer, I Also Do Report Cards, Permission Slips, And Absence Notes
How About Prescriptions?
Shut Up, Heather (sorry, Heather)

For A Greasy Little Nobody
You Do Have Good Bone Structure
And A Symmetrical Face
If I Took A Meat Cleaver Down The Center Of Your Skull
I′d Have Matching Halves, That's Very Important
Of Course, You Could Stand To Lose A Few Pounds

And You Know, You Know, You Know
This Could Be Beautiful
Mascara, Maybe Some Lip Gloss
And We′re On Our Way

Get This Girl Some Blush
And Heather, I Need Your Brush
Let's Make Her Beautiful
Let′s Make Her Beautiful
Let's Make Her Beautiful
Make Her Beautiful
Okay? (Okay)

Out Of My Way, Geek
I Don't Want Trouble
You′re Gonna Die At 3 P.m.
Don′t You Dare Touch Me
Get Away, Pervert
What Did I Ever Do To Them?

Who Could Survive This?
I Can't Escape This
I Think I′m Dying
Who's That With Heather?
Whoa!

(Heather, Heather, Heather)
And Someone
(Heather, Heather, Heather)
And A Babe
(Heather, Heather, Heather)

Veronica?
(Veronica?)
(Veronica?)
(Veronica?)

And You Know, You Know, You Know
Life Can Be Beautiful
You Hope, You Dream, You Pray
And You Get Your Way (beautiful)
Ask Me, How It Feels?
Looking Like Hell On Wheels

My God, It′s Beautiful (beautiful)
My Mighty Beautiful (beautiful)
And When You're Beautiful
It′s A Beautiful Frickin' Day!
(Heather, Heather, Heather, Veronica)
Oh, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! (Heather, Heather, Heather, Veronica)
(Veronica, Veronica, Veronica, Veronica!)