I Was Born A Hundred Thousand Years Ago

And There's Nothin' In This World I Do Not Know

Why The Flag Started Flying

When George Washington Stopped Lying

I Can Lick The Man Who Says That Isn't So



I Saw Eve And Adam Driven From The Door

I'm The Man Who Picked The Fig Leaf That They Wore

When The Apple They Were Eating

I Was From The Bushes Peeping

I Can Prove That I'm The Man That Ate The Core



Queen Elizabeth, She Fell In Love With Me, Poor Girl

We Were Married In Milwaukee Secretly

Then I Snuck Around And Shook Her

'Cause I Went With General Hooker

Just To Fight Mosquitoes Down In Tennessee



I Saw Noah When He Built His Famous Ark

I Slipped Into It One Night When It Was Dark

I Saw Jonah Swallow The Whale

And I Pulled The Lion's Tale

Then I Crossed The Land Of Canaan On A Lark



I Taught Solomon His Little ABC's

And I Helped Brigham Young Invent Limburger Cheese

Well I Sailed Out On The Bay

With Methuselah One Day

And I Saved His Flowing Whiskers From The Breeze