We Were Driving To Birmingham, Alabama And My Buddy Keith Was Driving The Truck
And This Lady About Ran Us Off The Road In A Cadillac
She Just Kinda Smiled When She Went By, And He Has Road Rage And He Said Look At That Big Fat Bitch

So I Grabbed My Little Travel Guitar Out Of The Back And Went

Big Fat Bitch
She's A Big Ol Big Ol Fat Bitch
She Goes To Ryan's And They Say, Shit
This One's Gonna Cost Us
She's A Big Ol Bitch
She's A Big Ol Bitch

She Sweats Grits
You Can Hide A Pound Of Dope
Under One Of Her Tits

Big Fat Bitch
She's A Big Ol Bitch

Who Stole Christmas?
The Grinch
Who Stole The Twinkies?
Big Fat Bitch

She's A Big Ol Bitch

Yeah She Had This Cajun Friend
Who Had A Pet Alligator
She Ate That Some-bitch
Like It Was A Green Now N Later
Or A Fried Green Da-mator
You'd Have To Have A Turbo-foaming Car Wash Brush
To Masterbate Her

She's A Big Ol Bitch
She's A Big Ol Bitch

When She Was Eight Years Old She Had A Pogo Stick That Would Say, Hey Wanda
And They'd Go Song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong
And Now Her Pogo Stick Says, HOLY FUCKING SHIT
And They Go Bount Bount

She's A Big Ol Bitch
She's A Big Ol Bitch

She Gargles And Drools And Spits
And She Makes All Kinds Of Noise
She Chases The Ice Cream Man Down Cunningham
In Her Corduroys

She's A Big Ol Bitch
She's A Big Ol Big Fat Bitch