Once I Knew A Nipper, A Greedy Little Kipper,

Once A Fella Said To Me,

I Know Where There Is A Tree,

Laden Up With Fruit, Warranted To Suit,

Anybody Great Or Small.



So I Went And Did A Bunk, I Went To Get A Trunk,

I Didn't Mean To Get A Few,

I Meant To Get A Ton Or Two,

Of Apples Off The Tree, Wasn't Greedy 'cos You See,

I'm Very Very Fond Of Fruit.



So Off I Went To Have A Look At 'em,

I Just Cocked My Leg Upon The Wall,

When My Blood Turned Pale And A Seven Inch Nail,

Went Right Up You Know, Where The Monkey Has A Tail,

And I Never Had A Look At 'em At All