The millionaires are closing ranks Tax-dodging in the race to the bank Listen for the slamming of the stable doors After the horse has bolted Trapped fingers, and someone's to blame The Jockey Club is tightening the reins All.. Read »

Hurling, the national sport of Ireland Was banned in 1366 As part of an Anglo-Norman attempt To crush all Gaelic resistance It failed Over six hundred years of British repression Has never stopped the people from fighting bac.. Read »

Dipping into his Filofax He wonders who he can buy next "C'mon, Play the game the Maxwell way And you'll never lose, come what may" There'll be the Maxwell League And the Maxwell Cup The Maxwell Trophy For Maxwell clubs Maxwe.. Read »

There'll be new events in Seoul '88 Throwing the molotov and the hundred meter loot Hurdling over barricades putting the brick Vaulting over riot cops in the peoples Olympics The people are angry and the boss is running scare.. Read »

I always wanted to play In the school football team But the coach said I wasn't fast enough I wasn't no good it seemed I used to watch them practice But I never got a game I went to every trial they had But every time I faile.. Read »

Step by step Climbing to the top Eddie the Eagle The epitome of sport Not for the winning Or the advertising deals Not for the money or glory Just for taking part It's like when I was at school And we got beat 10-1 My dad wou.. Read »

Another Sunday match again Another Merseyside clash again It's the 36th this season By my calculations That's when I made the decision To stay in the lower divisions Travelling from town to town Hopping round from ground to g.. Read »

Too many crap programs With too many adverts Too much Matthew Engel bullshit And not enough dirt Media and programs All dull and mundane How to fill up space When you've nothing left to say So rip it up and start it again! Ri.. Read »

Posed like swallows before a dive Five lanes, and on the left hand side Stands Tubby Barlow wet with fear Not quite sure what he's doing there On your marks, get set, and they're in Tubby's consumed by the urge to win Four ar.. Read »

When I play cricket I'm the longest at the wicket I can jump and swim And I live in the gym But I can't come to terms With my existence as part of the universe I gaze at the sky I think how? When? And why? I go to the lavator.. Read »