Dear Abby,



Got A Problem. I'm A Decent, Underpaid, Hardworking County Coroner. It's

Important That My Family Eat Meat At Least Three Times A Week. But We Just Can't

Afford To With The Prices The Way They Are. So I Bring Home Some Choice Cuts From My

Autopsy Subjects. Just Mix In The Tuna Helper:and Ta-da!



The Whole Family Thinks My New Meals Are Delicious. They Ask Me What's

My Secret. Abby, I Think They're Getting Suspicious. My Smart-ass 8-year-old Keeps

Asking, "Where's All The Meat? The Red Dye #2 Kind That's Kept In The Fridge."



If They Find Out The Truth I Don't Think They'll Understand. Abby, What Do I Tell

My Family?

DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM: Consult Your Clergyman. Make Sure The Body's

Blessed And Everything Should Be Just Fine