Richie: "So Ya Doin' Good?"
Samantha: "Ya, I'm Fine, How 'bout You?"
Richie: "How Good Could I Be? I Haven't Seen You In Three Hours."
Samantha: "Ohhh, Richie. Hey Richie, My Dad's Down The Hall, And He Doesn't Want Me On The Phone. So If I Hang Up On You, It's Just Because He's Coming."
Richie: "Ok. So Look, Uh, Do You Wanna Meet At The Spring Fling Dance Thi..."
[She Hangs Up Phone]

[Phone Rings]
Richie: "Hello?"
Samantha: "Sorry, I Thought He Was Coming."
Richie: "That's Ok. So, About The Dance. Do You Wanna Meet
Samantha: "Umm, Well My Brother Gets The Car On Friday Nights."
Richie: "Well That's Ok, I'll Come By And Get You. Lets Say Around..."
[She Hangs Up Phone]
Richie: "Come On.."

[Phone Rings]
Richie: "Hey."
Samantha: "Sorry. I Guess He Was Just Going To The Bathroom."
Richie: "That's Ok. Well Look, Uh.. What Was I Saying? Oh Yeah, Should I Pick You Up At Like Seven-thirty Or Maybe Do You Wanna Go Later When The Dance Is Really Kickin.."
[She Hangs Up The Phone Again]
Richie: "Give Me A Break..."

[Phone Rings]
Richie: "Hello."
Samantha: "Sorry. It Was Just My Dog."
Richie: "Hey, What's Your Dad's Problem Anyways!? Why Can't We Talk?"
Samantha: "He Just Thinks I'm On The Phone Too Much. Oh My God, Uh, I Gotta Go."
Richie: "Don't Hang Up!"
Samantha: "Richie, I Can't Talk!"
Richie: "No, I'm Sick Of This! Put Your Dad On The Phone! I Wanna Talk To Him."
Samantha: "It's Not My Dad."
Richie: "What? Well, Who's There? Why Can't You Talk?"
Samantha: "Uh, Just Look Richie, Someone Is Here."
Richie: "Who's There? Is It A Guy!?"
Samantha: "Richie!"
Richie: "I Knew It! I'll Kill Him! Put Him On The Phone!"
Samantha: "oh.. It's Just.. Hold On."

[Hands Phone To Guy]
Richie: "Hey Man! What The Hell Are You Doing There!? Samantha's My Girl!
You'd Better Stay Away From Her Or I'll Make You Wish You Were Never Born!"
Buffoon: "Fuckin' Shit!"
Richie: "Yeah, Fuckin' Shit Is Right Buddy! Don't Think I'm Kidding Around, Man! I'm Crazy! I'll Smash Your Head In! I Swear To God!"
Buffoon: "One Time I Saw My Grandmother In The Shower. Her Bush Starts Above Her Belly Button."
Richie: "Yeah, Well That's Too Bad! But I'm Still Gonna Come Over There And Beat Your Face In!"
[Richie Slams Down Phone]

Samantha: "What Happened? Was He Mad?"
Buffoon: "My Neighbor's Dog Has A Four Inch Clit!"
Samantha: "Oh Buffoon, You're The Coolest." [Whispering] "I Love You..."